The Journal of A Regency Lady 13
May 29 1812
It has been some days since I wrote in my journal. My feet have not touched the ground since I told Mama that I was to marry Lord Belmond. She was so happy and so relieved that I was glad I had made my decision. Indeed, I had not quite decided until he came that day, but now that it has happened I am pleased. After all, I liked him very well before he became engaged and he has explained all that. So now I shall be Lady Belmond very soon and then we shall join his regiment, though we are not to go abroad as soon as we had expected for he has had orders to report to Lime Regis where his men are are presently stationed.
It does not matter. I am in such a whirl for Mama was determined that I should be married at home and we set out almost at once. Paul was so pleased to see me and I was pleased that he looked so much happier and well again. He told me privately that he thinks he shall resign his commission for he still limps a little and does not believe he could ever be a soldier again.
'I want to marry and have a family, Anne,' he told me. 'I came close to dying and I do not wish to leave this life without knowing the joys of having a wife and child.'
I believe Mama is almost reconciled to the idea of his marriage. For myself I am pleased that he has found peace and happiness after his illness, which I feared would change him forever.
'You must do as you please, dearest,' I told him. 'I know Mama was doubtful but she will learn to love your wife, as I shall.'
Paul tipped his head to one side, his eyes narrowed as he looked at me. 'What of you, Anne? Are you truly happy? I think you were badly hurt last Christmas...'
'Yes, I was hurt,' I admitted, 'and when Harry first asked me I was not sure it was the right decision, but now I think we shall suit very well.'
My brother frowned for no one knew me better. 'That does not sound as if you are madly in love? It is what I should hope for you, sister.' His gaze narrowed. 'Did you not find anyone else you preferred?'
I hesitated for a moment. 'There was a gentleman I liked but...' Paul's brows rose. 'He did not ask me to marry him. I thought he meant to but his regiment was called to some riots in the North and I heard nothing more from him.'
'You would not marry just for the sake of it? Mama did not push you into this, Anne?'
'No, of course not,' I began but then we both heard Mama calling to me. 'Mama is calling me for yet another fitting.'
'We shall talk more later,' Paul said. 'If you are not sure you should not marry him, Anne.'
I smiled at him and shook my head. I had given my word and could not break it. Besides, I was almost certain that I loved Paul.
But Mama is calling me once more. I shall write more this evening...
Sorry to everyone that I have been so long since the last episode. I didn't realise how long it was until I tried to find the last bit. I will try to get in more often now that I can get in again. Anne