Friday, January 06, 2006

Miss Bridget Jane's New Year Resolutions

Miss Bridget Jane's Diary by Amanda Grange is a Regency satire of the wonderful Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding.

I happened to visit Miss Bridget a few days ago, and she kindly showed me her New Year Resolutions:

January 1st
New Year Resolutions

I will not

I will not sneak cooking sherry from the kitchen

I will not eat chocolate cake, syllabub or meringues

I will not fall in love with penniless soldiers, curates or poets

I will not worry about being twenty-five and unmarried

I will not think I am going to be twenty-six in August

I will not buy a new bonnet every time Mama says, ‘Your sister Susan has been married for three years and she’s younger than you are’

I will not grin from ear to ear when someone asks me to dance, but will remain cool and calm and dignified, and merely nod in a languid manner

I will not fantasise about being a heroine in a romance who is swept off her feet by a hot earl despite the fact she is twenty-five (or twenty-six after August)

I will

I will join a circulating library

I will read an improving book every day

I will be kind to animals, old people and my sister

I will sew blankets for the needy

I will attend Aunt Anne’s balls willingly, instead of feigning a headache, earache
or bubonic plague

I will go for long walks, even if it is raining

I will acquire a sylph-like figure

I will learn to play the harp


Anonymous said...

What a fabulous column! I hope we'll see more of Miss Bridget Jane on this blog soon!

Anonymous said...

Love it!

(But surely she should continue to take an interest in the personal columns of the newspaper? After all, you never know...)

Anonymous said...

Yes, Miss Bridget Jane will be making further appearances on the blog (always assuming I can sneak a look at her diary)