Miss Bridget Jane's New Year Resolutions

Miss Bridget Jane's Diary by Amanda Grange is a Regency satire of the wonderful Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding.

I happened to visit Miss Bridget a few days ago, and she kindly showed me her New Year Resolutions:

January 1st
New Year Resolutions


I will not


I will not sneak cooking sherry from the kitchen

I will not eat chocolate cake, syllabub or meringues

I will not fall in love with penniless soldiers, curates or poets

I will not worry about being twenty-five and unmarried

I will not think I am going to be twenty-six in August

I will not buy a new bonnet every time Mama says, ‘Your sister Susan has been married for three years and she’s younger than you are’

I will not grin from ear to ear when someone asks me to dance, but will remain cool and calm and dignified, and merely nod in a languid manner

I will not fantasise about being a heroine in a romance who is swept off her feet by a hot earl despite the fact she is twenty-five (or twenty-six after August)



I will


I will join a circulating library

I will read an improving book every day

I will be kind to animals, old people and my sister

I will sew blankets for the needy

I will attend Aunt Anne’s balls willingly, instead of feigning a headache, earache
or bubonic plague

I will go for long walks, even if it is raining

I will acquire a sylph-like figure

I will learn to play the harp